Clam Jam by RC Boldt

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“Clam Jam”

Definition: the female equivalent of a cock block.

Example: You’re chatting with a guy you’re interested in and your friend comes along and lays claim to him.

Maggie

That’s my life—except it’s worse. My friend who keeps “jamming” me is my gay roommate and if that isn’t a W.T.F. moment, I’m not sure what is.

Fact: He went home with three—yes, three—of the guys I had been so sure were into me.

Fact: He’s really pissing me off. I mean, hello? I’m trying to get back in the saddle, but I’ll never manage to get a boyfriend before the age of fifty if he keeps this up.

Fact: Secretly, I wonder what it would be like if he weren’t gay. Why do all the hot, sweet, tender-hearted guys have to be gay?

Fact: My gay-dar needs a serious tune-up.

Ry

The day I interviewed for the room to rent, everything changed. I knew I had met “the girl”, except there was one small problem: she didn’t want anything to do with men. I recognized a top-notch force field when I saw one. She’d been burned badly and didn’t want to deal with a heterosexual guy as a roommate. I could’ve turned around and found another place to live, but I wanted to live there—with her.

So I had to go “undercover”.

Fact: I’m in love with my roommate.

Fact: I’m a likely candidate for carpal tunnel surgery since all the action I’ve had for the past year has been my hand.

Fact: She’s going to hate me if I come clean now.

Fact: I’m not giving up. Which means, I’ll just have to continue to run defense until I figure out a way to get Maggie to see the “real” me.

The me that loves her.

The me that would never do her wrong.

Until then, I’ll keep running off every guy who shows any interest.

Until then, I’ll continue to Clam Jam.

 

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Clam Jam gave me exactly what I wanted: a funny read with some sex thrown in for good measure.

We are told the story through dual POVs from Maggie and Ry.

Maggie, he has sworn off men.

Ry, he has sworn off women except Maggie.

The solution, Ry pretends to be gay.

I am sure you can imagine the hilarity that ensues along with the upkeep of being gay. They build their friendship and ultimately feelings for each other. But both are afraid to spill the beans.

Ry is on a mission to thwart any other guy getting any kind of chance with Maggie. So what does he do? He Clam Jams.  

“The guy I’d wanted to ask for my number tonight, the guy I’d thought was into me, just chose my roommate instead. I’ve just been clam jammed. Again. “

Poor Maggie starts to think that something is seriously wrong with her. Cannot blame her one bit!

More and more she turns to her roommate and Ry is all for that.

But how long can a white lie continue? Honestly, a little too long in this book. I enjoyed it at first but after awhile it got to be a bit annoying.

And what happens when Maggie finds out Ry is not Gay? I am sure you can imagine.

There were some great one liners that made you chuckle. A few that I liked are below.

“I’m sorry, but did my panties just go poof? Up in smoke? Because the look in his eyes made my hoo-ha feel like it was on fire.”

“Hello, my name is Maggie Finegan, and I’m mega lame. Do they even have support groups for that?”

“I have to figure out a way to solve the fact that I’ve done something I’ve never imagined was possible. I’ve cock blocked myself.”

Clam Jam was a quick and enjoyable read. Between the one-liners, banter, the clam jamming, the shared napkins (which is sweet – you have to read to find out 😉 ), and the clashing of bodies. The writing was smooth and clear. Scenes are easily played out in your head. The characters are relatable and likeable. If you like all these things and a good laugh, get your Clam Jam on!

3.5 Stars

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RC Boldt is the wife of Mr. Boldt, a retired Navy Chief, mother of Little Miss Boldt, and former teacher of many students. She currently lives on the southeastern coast of North Carolina, enjoys long walks on the beach, running, reading, people watching, and singing karaoke. If you’re in the mood for some killer homemade mojitos, can’t recall the lyrics to a particular 80’s song, or just need to hang around a nonconformist who will do almost anything for a laugh, she’s your girl.

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